England is going smoke free on the 1st July. Welcome to the nanny state.
I read an article today about how smokers are secretly in favour of the ban. No we are not. Some of us weaker souls are pretending to be in favour of the ban because of the scorn that is being heaped upon us by media commentators, mothers with small children and the anti-smoking lobby. Boring. Do these people really think that we don't know that smoking is killing us? I do, I am reminded every morning as I hack my guts into the sink. Logically I should give up smoking and if I decide to I will. I don't need to watch the cancer adverts - I know. As do the hypocrites at number ten who will take the places away to smoke but will still let us buy the evil things and reap the rewards from the tax.
When the ban was first proposed I was actually in favour of it. It seemed quite sensible and I am not in favour of workers being subjected to other people's smoke. Passive smoking is dangerous and I accept full responsibility for this. I do not feel comfortable smoking around non-smokers and am constantly seen flapping my arm around in front of people's faces to waft the smoke away. Very irritating for all involved. Which brings me to this point. What happened to choice?
I was in favour of the ban because I thought that it would give non-smokers the choice not to have to sit in a smoky atmosphere if they did not want to. It has resulted in smokers not being given the choice to sit in a smoky environment if they want to.
It has begun to annoy me the way I am smugly informed by fat people, stuffing their face with a McDonalds, that I am killing myself. So are you sister and obesity is a bigger problem for the NHS. The problem is that everyone feels sorry for fat people - bless them whilst they stuff their faces, it must be horrible. Smokers look cool. They really do - even more so now it is ghettoised - thus non-smokers get all cross about it. No one feels sorry for the smoker because everyone is jealous and it is their bitterness that banishes us to the alley way, not concern for our health.
I don't really mind. The less time I have to spend with condescending non-smokers the better and I don't have any friends with young children - there's a ban I would be in favour of - children : ) There are worse crimes that I shall sign petitions for.
So, my smoking friends and I will be having smoking parties. No alcohol just tea and juice and a foggy haze. Non-smokers stay away, even the most tolerant of you will not be welcome. The gin parties of yesterday will be replaced with a tobacco frenzy and a general appreciation of the small white stick. Whether you roll or not, with or without a filter, smoke dodgy duty free fags or suck it from a bong you will be made to feel welcome and loved by the rest of your dying breed.
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